Linux Cubed Series 8: LINUX Games/Linux Cubed Series 8 - LINUX Games.iso/games/fortune-.tar/fortune-/fortune/datfiles/off/unrotated/misogyny

Text File | 1995-10-19 | 12KB | 298 lines

A highly intelligent man should take a primitive woman.  Imagine if on top
of everything else, I had a woman who interfered with my work.
        -- Adolf Hitler
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A little bit of rape is good for a man's soul.
        -- Norman Mailer
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A perfectly honest woman, a woman who never flatters, who never manages,
who never cajoles, who never conceals, who never uses her eyes, who never
speculates on the effect which she produces, who never is conscious of
unspoken admiration, what a monster, I say, would such a female be!
        -- Thackeray
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A proper wife should be as obedient as a slave... The female is a female
by virtue of a certain lack of qualities -- a natural defectiveness.
        -- Aristotle
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A society in which women are taught anything but the management of a family,
the care of men, and the creation of the future generation is a society
which is on its way out.
        -- L. Ron Hubbard
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A woman employs sincerity only when every other form of deception has failed.
        -- Scott
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A woman must be a cute, cuddly, naive little thing--tender, sweet, and stupid.
        -- Adolf Hitler
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A woman occasionally is quite a serviceable substitute for masturbation.
It takes an abundance of imagination, to be sure.
        -- Karl Kraus, "Die Fackel"
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A woman takes off her claim to respect along with her garments.
        -- Herodotus
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A woman who is guided by the head and not by the heart is a social
pestilence: she has all the defects of the passionate and affectionate
woman, with none of her compensations; she is without pity, without love,
without virtue, without sex.
        -- Balzac
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A woman who is unfaithful deserves to be shot.
        -- Pancho Villa
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Among all savage beasts, none is found so harmful as woman.
        -- St. John Chrysostom, 304-407.
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And do you not think that each of you women is an Eve?  The judgement of God
upon your sex endures today; and with it invariably endures your position of
criminal at the bar of justice.
        -- Tertullian, second-century Christian writer
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        Are Women Human?

In the year 584, in Lyon, France, 43 Catholic bishops and 20 men
representing other bishops, after a lengthy debate, took a vote. The
results were 32 yes, 31 no.  Women were declared human by one vote.
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    Are you a Young Urban Professional Woman?  If so, you know how
Yuppie women are; cold, ruthless bitches with no time for love, and only
an occasional weekend for sex.  Your one "hot date" with Joe Fastrack,
rising corporate star, ended in disaster.  Yesterday you heard him telling
a friend over lunch,  "The woman must masturbate with popsicles!"  Well,
all is not lost!  SofSqueeze can change your nickname to Electrolux in just
15 minutes a day!
    SofSqueeze is a pressure sensitive device (divided into appropriate
sections) that plugs into the serial port of most home computers.  Through
the magic of biofeedback, SofSqueeze teaches you control over your vaginal
muscles.  With our exciting, easy-to-follow software you'll master the
"Cincinnati Squeeze", the "Irresistable", the "California Crusher", and,
of course, the perennial favorite, "Milking Time Down on the Farm".  Or,
using our exclusive Interactive Mode, invent your own!
    SofSqueeze is made of sturdy ABS plastic, and is completely
immersible for easy cleaning.  SofSqueeze's flesh-toned exterior is finely
textured for a realistic effect.  Requires 4K RAM, a DB25 serial port and
limited graphics capability.  Comes fully assembled, with 4 AA batteries.
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Contemporary American feminism's simplistic psychology is illustrated by
the new cliche of the date-rape furor:  "`No' always means `no'."  Will
we ever graduate from the Girl Scouts?  "No" has always been, and always
will be, part of the dangerous alluring courtship ritual of sex and
seduction, observable even in the animal kingdom.
        -- Camille Paglia, NY Times, Dec. 14 1990, Op Ed.
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Dames lie about anything -- just for practice.
        -- Raymond Chandler
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Do you want to know what's ahead for you, in your happiness at home,
your business success?  Here's a telling test: Look in the mirror.  Is
your skin smooth and lovely, your hair gleaming, your make-up glamorous?
Are you slender enough for your height?  Do you stand erect, confident?
Yes?  Then you are on your way to success as a woman.
        -- Ladies' Home Journal, 1947 advertisement
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Eighteen goddess-like daughters are not equal to one son with a hump.
        -- Chinese Proverb
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Everyone has the right, without exception, to equal pay for equal work.
Except for women.
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Everyone in the office is welcome to join the group going to the Columbus
Theater tonight.  Meet in the lobby at 8:30.  The films are "Blue Jennifer"
and "Hot Coed Cheerleaders".
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Feminists say 60 percent of the country's wealth is in the hands of women.
They're letting men hold the other 40 percent because their handbags are full.
        -- Earl Wilson
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Finally, a reporter got a chance to interview Tarzan.

Reporter: Tarzan?  Is that your first or last name?
Tarzan:   Tarzan first name.
Reporter: Then, what's your whole name?
Tarzan:   Tarzan of the Apes.
Reporter: And who is the woman with you?
Tarzan:   That Jane.
Reporter: And what's Jane's whole name?
Tarzan:   Cunt.
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Have you ever stopped to think what it would be like to have a woman President?
"I can't deal with the Russians today.  Not now.  I've got my period."
        -- Steven Moore
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Here's to women.  Would that we could fall into her arms without falling
into her hands.
        -- Ambrose Bierce
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    I paid a visit to my local precinct in Greenwich Village and
asked a sergeant to show me some rape statistics.  He politely obliged.
That month there had been thirty-five rape complaints, an advance of ten
over the same month for the previous year.  The precinct had made two
arrests.
    "Not a very impressive record," I offered.
    "Don't worry about it," the sergeant assured me.  "You know what
these complaints represent?"
    "What do they represent?" I asked.
    "Prostitutes who didn't get their money," he said firmly,
closing the book.
        -- Susan Brownmiller, "Against Our Will"
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If a shameless woman expects to be defiled and then dies of her fierce
love because you do not consent, will chastity also be homicide?
        -- Saint Augustine
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In childhood a woman must be subject to her father; in youth to her
husband; when her husband is dead, to her sons.  A woman must never
be free of subjugation.
        -- The Hindu Code of Manu
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In the highest society, as well as in the lowest, woman is merely an
instrument of pleasure.
        -- Tolstoy
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It is only the man whose intellect is clouded by his sexual impulse that
could give the name of the fair sex to that undersized, narrow-shouldered,
broad-hipped, and short-legged race.
        -- Schopenhauer
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It seems to me that nearly every woman I know wants a man who knows how
to love with authority.  Women are simple souls who like simple things,
and one of the simplest is one of the simplest to give.  ...  Our family
airedale will come clear across the yard for one pat on the head.  The
average wife is like that.
        -- Episcopal Bishop James Pike
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Many a woman hasn't realized that she was raped until the check bounced.
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Men are superior to women.
        -- The Koran
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No is no negative in a woman's mouth.
        -- Sidney
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One hundred women are not worth a single testicle.
        -- Confucius
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Scratch the average female and you'll find a purring bundle... at the
ready to love and honor, bake a torte and still produce quintuplets.
        -- Edgar Berman
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Sensible and responsible women do not want to vote.
        -- Grover Cleveland, 1905
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She applies her lipstick in spite of its contents: "greasy rouge,
containing crushed and dried insect corpses for coloring, beeswax for
stiffness, and olive oil to help it flow - the latter having the
unfortunate tendency to go rancid several hours after use.

In 1924 the New York Board of Health considered banning lipstick, not
because it was hazardous to the wearers but because of "the worry that it
might poison the men who kissed the women who wore it."
        -- David Bodanis, "The Secret House"
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Six days after the Creation, Adam was still alone in the Garden of
Eden, and getting pretty desperate. "God!" he cried, "rescue me from
loneliness and despair!  Send some company for Your sake!"

God replied "OK, I have just the thing. Keep you warm and relaxed all
the days of your life.  Never complains.  Looks up to you in every way.
It'll cost you though".

"Sounds ideal" said Adam. "The society of the beasts of the field and
the birds of the air palls after a while.  What's the price?"

"An arm and a leg", said God.

Adam thought about it for a bit and finally sighed.  "So, what can I get
for a rib?"
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Some women should be beaten regularly, like gongs.
        -- Noel Coward
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Sure, and of course I would vote for a woman for president!
Quite naturally, we wouldn't have to pay her so much.
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That Xanthippe's husband should have become so great a philosopher is
remarkable.  Amid all the scolding, to be able to think!  But he could not
write: that was impossible.  Socrates has not left us a single book.
        -- Heine
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The Bible says that woman was the last thing God made.  Evidently He made
her on Saturday night.  She reveals his fatigue.
        -- Dumas
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The great question that has never been answered and which I have not
yet been able to answer despite my thirty years of research into the
feminine soul is: WHAT DOES A WOMAN WANT?
        -- Sigmund Freud

    [*Which* woman?  This sort of *stupid* question should, I suppose, be
     expected from the man who invented the mind-bogglingly unbelievable
     concept of 'penis envy' to explain the behavior of half of mankind.]
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The man-hating woman, like the cold woman, is largely imaginary.  She
is simply a woman who has done her best to snare a man and has failed.
        -- Norton
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The more I learn about women, the more I love my dog.
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The only alliance I would make with the Women's Liberation Movement is in bed.
        -- A. Hoffman
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The Pope is working on a crossword puzzle one Sunday afternoon.  He stops
for a moment, scratches his forehead, then asks a Cardinal, "Can you think
of a four-letter word for `woman' that ends in `u-n-t'?"
    "Aunt," replies the Cardinal.
    "Say, thanks," says the Pope.  "You got an eraser?"
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The Queen is most anxious to enlist every one who can speak or write to
join in checking this mad, wicked folly of "Woman's Rights", with all its
attendant horrors, on which her poor feeble sex is bent, forgetting every
sense of womanly feeling and propriety.  Lady ____ ought to get a good
whipping.  It is a subject which makes the Queen so furious that she cannot
contain herself.  God created men and women different -- then let them
remain each in their own position.
    -- Letter to Sir Theodore Martin, 29 May 1870, from Queen Victoria
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Were there no women, men might live like gods.
        -- Thomas Dekker
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When I have one foot in the grave I will tell the truth about women.  I
shall tell it, jump into my coffin, pull the lid over me, and say, "Do
what you like now."
        -- Tolstoy
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When I was in college, there were a lot of four-letter words you couldn't
say in front of girls.  Now you can say them.  But you can't say "girls".
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With all the talent around, it's sort of amazing that a woman could be
up here with us.
        -- Ralph Kiner, on introducing an award winner
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With her body, woman is more sincere than man; but with her mind she lies.
And when she lies, she does not believe herself.
        -- Tolstoy
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With women, I've got a long bamboo pole with a leather loop on the end of
it.  I slip the loop around their necks so they can't get away or come too
close.  Like catching snakes.
        -- Marlon Brando
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Woman is generally so bad that the difference between a good and a bad
woman scarcely exists.
        -- Tolstoy
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Women -- can't live with 'em, can't leave 'em by the curb when you're done.
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Women are nothing but machines for producing children.
        -- Napoleon
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Women of genius commonly have masculine faces, figures and manners.
In transplanting brains to an alien soil God leaves a little of the
original earth clinging to the roots.
        -- Ambrose Bierce
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Women should be obscene and not heard.
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